About Bedbugs

No, actually I know nothing about bed bugs.  I think they are very bad.  I once read a really horrifying forum where everyone was wanting to jump off cliffs because of them.  I’m not at all kidding.  Read this later when you are feeling brave.  If you want some info about bed bugs, I’m sorry, that’s not what bitethebedbugs is about.  At all.  I used to tell my kids to “bite the bed bugs” instead of “don’t let the bed bugs bite,” because fuck the bed bugs.  Always be on the offensive.

I liked them. I kept them.

• I am not a mommy blogger. The picture above is of some kids I got at Chuck E. Cheese.  So much for your super-secret-ultra-violet-anti-kidnapping-hand-stamp Chuck.
• I have a masters in English and Creative Writing.  Raise your hand if you know what that’s good for.  Yes, you in the back!?  CORRECT!  Nothing!
• I am writing a novel.  I am always writing a novel, I am never finishing a novel.  I occasionally get short stories published in unheard of lit mags.  Once Joyce Carol Oates gave me an honorable mention.  My finest hour.
• I have two husbands.  An ex and a zombie.
• My name is Tara, not Tera.  Like Tar-uh.  I’ve stopped correcting people because they always say the same thing: “Oh sorry, I know a Tera.”  And then I think, “I wonder if that girl knows she’s pronouncing her name wrong?”  If this is confusing to you, you can call me Janet.  Miss Jackson if you’re nasty.
• I foolishly bid on a haunted camera sold by The Bloggess.  In exchange she sent me some traffic and also shattered my blog into a million pieces:

Thank you?