Well it’s Wednesday on a week I don’t have the kids; consistently the worst day of the week for me. On the weekend I am fine. Monday I am full of hope about all the things I will get done while the kids are with their dad. Tuesdays I do all the laundry and cook something good and stay productive. And then Wednesday arrives and with it comes a toxic soup of sadness and all my hope for the week is dashed and I stay in bed until noon.
What is currently raining on my already sad parade? These bucket lists on blogs by people who are still young and optimistic about what life can bring. The world is their oyster as it were, their sexy aphrodesiac. Their pearl having oyster. I read these bucket lists and think Jesus, where did I go wrong? Their lists read like a joyous and optimistic smorgasbord of awesome: Get a black belt in Karate! See the Grand Canyon! Have sex on an airplane! Climb Everest! Cure cancer! So I did one and it was not a good exercise for me..
College, degree. College, another degree.Get married.Discover I am infertile.Inject myself nine million times with assorted drugs to fix the above.Have children.Divorce.Go to court over custody of children.Lose.Fall into a deep and lasting depression.- Learn to cook something other than tacos.
- Stop buying lipgloss
- Perfect the art of shower crying.
- Find the best antidepressant!
Date again. Find someone awesome enough to put up with me.Marry the above person.- Stop reading the comments on news sites.
- Get a black belt! That reverses to brown.
- Learn to love cilantro.
Really when you look at the list, I’m doing okay in the crossing off department. I’m not aiming all that high though, so there’s that. There are no Everest trips in my future and I barely want to pee in an airplane bathroom let alone do anything sexy in there, so that’s out too. Maybe I could manage the Grand Canyon. Or a new language. I might already be on my way because today I walked to the tiny hole in the wall taco place near me and had lunch and tried to read this magazine that was in Spanish. Then I walked out and a man held the door for me and I said “gracias” and he followed me out and asked me “Are you Mexican?” And I know it’s because I said gracias so well. Maybe I have a natural affinity for language or at least saying thank you. I should put that on my bucket list. Or maybe just scrawl “learn spanish” on the back of a Happy Donuts receipt – that might be more realistic. So someone please get me started, how do you say: “Hurry up Thursday, because this is bullshit.”
{ 29 comments }
I don’t know how you do it. Your Wednesday slump is totally understandable. FWIW, I hate those bucket lists, too. I also hate the 30-by-30 lists. I never did one of those, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t do 30 of anything, except maybe shooters, by the time I was 30.
Wednesday is now officially Slump Day.
P.S. Why would you want to make anything other than tacos after your little man called you, missing you and wanting tacos?
Sarah P´s last blog ..Professionalism- is what its called
You should move to Canada for the day. (It’s Canada Day and they give away free cake all over the place. Free cake makes everyone feel better, even on hump day.)
Hi, I’m Natalie.´s last blog ..Grace In Small Things- Baby Robins in My Front Tree
Jueves prisa, porque esto es una mierda
At least that’s what google said. If you want to learn ‘my dog is small and brown’ or ‘i’d like a table for two by the window’ I’m your girl.
The cilantro thing is not something you can change. You are genetically programmed to hate the smell. So you might as well cross that off or replace it with something doable, like “grow your own tomatoes” or something.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=98695984
Bridget Callahan´s last blog ..The Story of My Sordid Affair with Alcohol as Remembered by Someone Whose Memory is Probably Not Entirely Trustworthy
Ok, I change my recomendation. When you’re depressed and you want to learn to cook something other than tacos, watch the food network. I warn you, DO NOT FOCUS ON THEIR KNIFE SKILLS THAT IS UNACHIEVABLE by the average human being. Do not try to fix 30 minute meals in 30 minutes, they take at least an hour. And there are a few shows I find don’t talk down to me and make me feel better about myself. Mostly Good Eats because I’m a scientist and he goes in to the science of food. And Chopped, cause I go into my kitchen and feel like I’m doing that almost every day anyway.
And now a few comments on your goals.
11. You NEED lip gloss, it protects your lips from all sorts of things, and if you’re bored with it you can melt it down and mix it and pour it in empty containers if it’s the solid kind. If it’s the liquid you can still mix it, no melting required. I had a recent attempt at making lip balm and I was thinking I was being so healthy because I was using vitamin E instead of petroleum products, and then my doctor told me that to much vitamin E over a long time can lead to heart disease and that I should use coconut oil. So now I’m afraid to use my lip balm.
17. Refersible belts are highly overrated. I have a black one that turns over to brown, and it’s got this swifle on the clasp that’s so think I’m afraid I’ll break it, and it’s thin so I never wear it. I have a great brown belt I got at Syms, and a black one I bought at Walmart this week for $8, so if you want the reversible one you can have it, except I’m much fatter than you so you’ll have to punch new holes in it.
18. Cilantro is overrated, and only needed for mexican food. Since you’re learning to cook things other than tacos I’d skip it and go with garlic and basil. Basil is fantastic, and it looks like cilantro (cause they both come dried in the containers) but basil is much better. Plus my husband doesn’t like cilantro. There is no reason to learn to like something your husband doesn’t like, so unless TBZE just LOVES cilantro, I’d drop that one and take up italian food.
Cassondra´s last blog ..I think my smoke detectors are posessed- or sentient
http://fuckyeahcilantro.tumblr.com/
“Mach Schnell, Donnerstag! Weil heute scheize ist!” (Mak shhnell, don-er-s-tog, vile hoo-tuh shhh-i-zuh ist!)
I know you probably wanted Spanish but that’s the German.
The only other hope I can give you is that it took me a long time to learn to love cilantro, I used to hate it but now I adore it. So…keep at it.
Also, instead of hate, I wanted to write “despise” but I couldn’t figure out how to spell it after multiple attempts, so maybe I should put that on my own Bucket List.
In all seriousness, I’m sorry you were down on Wednesday. Hope Thursday perks you right up, or you can at least make it to the weekend.
Perfect the art of shower crying – check.
But you have some on your list I don’t. So you win.
Jules´s last blog ..“As governor of Texas- I have set high standards for our public schools- and I have met those standards” George W Bush
I’m always sad on weekends that I don’t have Gabriel, and it’s only ever just the weekends. I don’t know what I would do if it was a whole week at a time.
Miss Grace´s last blog ..This isnt even really real
Tara, couple of things.
1) I think you would have more success with your todo list if you moved #18 up. It doesn’t look good at the bottom of the list there.
2) The good thing with #18 is that it is physically impossible to have too much cilantro on anything. So just go to the store and buy a shit-ton of it. Hang it all around the house. Put it in the lunches for the kids. Hang some from your rear view window. Actually, you know what? I think Cinderella needs to encounter some cilantro. Or perhaps a cilantro salesman …
I’m with ya- I hate cilantro.
I recently posted a bucket list full of all kinds of things like get laser hair removal on my who-ha and sing onstage with the Indigo Girls. Clearly, I am delusional.
Amy Mayfield´s last blog ..A lawyer- a weatherman and a wrestler The poor Bachelorette
I think you are doing great with your list! Hey, you found love again and that is the most impressive thing to me. Of course, I am not dating this summer because I am spending all my quality time with my lawyer, my soon-to-be-ex, and a mediator. I am way too busy for dating. So, a single moms who hooked up again successfully is my hero.
Naked Girl in a Dress´s last blog ..Competitiveness breeds Stupidity
what the fuck is a bucket list?
MommaKiss´s last blog ..Send Soup
tacos are awesome.
NEVER discredit the power of being able to make good tacos.
i can’t cook worth a damn. mainly bc i just don’t like to. i truly will not eat if someone doesn’t cook for me or there aren’t leftovers in the fridge. well i’ll EAT, just not WELL.
like i’ll eat twizzlers and pepperoni before i’ll defrost a package of chicken because defrosting leads to cutting sinewy fat off of slimy breast meat which leads to cooking so… NO.
steff´s last blog ..Garden State of Mind
Apúrate jueves. ¡Ya está bien de gilipolleces!
…is what I’d say. As for German, I’d say ‘Beeil dich Donnerstag, denn heute beschissen ist.’
Interestingly, ‘verschissen’ means something like ‘totally fucked up.’ All the German variants on the word ’shit’ are really, really useful when you’re pissed or depressed or need to yell at somebody.
#16 Me too! The make me all angsty and want to drink…a lot.
Just Jane´s last blog ..My Own Version of Groundhogs Day
I just say, “chinga,” since in my world, “fuck” covers all occasions. I’m a simple sorta girl.
jennielynn´s last blog ..Life Lessons From Big Red
Do you think cilantro smells and tastes like soap? I have a friend who does and swears its genetic. He’s a smart guy, but I don’t know if I should believe him or not.
Zephyr´s last blog ..A 12 day hangover
Yeah, I don’t think I have a bucket list in me these days.
ohnoAMY´s last blog ..50 years of my mom-
Just concentrate on the tacos, they help Clyde sleep. Soon enough he, Hazel, and the cage fighting phenom will be home. At which time you can all go to Target for underwear.
Ugh, I hate cilantro and those lists – they are tools to make you feel bad about not accomplishing anything. Unless Making Really Bad Choices is on the list. Because then I win.
I agree – go with garlic and/or basil. I’d stay away from rosemary because it’s like little staples when it’s dry and I can never chop it finely enough to not get stabbed in the mouth while eating.
Sorry about your week. That just blows.
Suniverse´s last blog ..So THATS Why
Yeah…eff the Bucket List. I had one of those on 43 things and seriously I think they just induce unnecessary guilt. I would cope by cleaning shit out. That’s my plan for whenever my robot meds fail me. I would be crushed every single Wednesday so I think that’s normal.
Like today..the Husband is home (but i kinda don’t have much to say to him, in spite of our truce)..and my kids are home..so I am having the Boy and his Friend (crashing here till 7/11) pull all my storage totes out of the tiny shed where they shoved them so I can go through all the bins and make a massive “dump” pile. Tomorrow when things open up again we will haul it all there. That is, if I can stop the sneezing attack that just hit me.
Oh..and maybe audio books? For some odd reason, if it’s one I haven’t heard before..it helps me not think which helps me not be sad. Much loves.
And eff cilantro! It’s icky! Basil is better..by far.
“date prisa jueves, que esto es una mierda!”
I actually love doing new years resolutions and *trying* to keep them. and I love making lists so that I can cross things out (yes, I’m the one that sometimes puts things on a list I already did just so I can cross it out…. ) The thing is, there is no reason kilimanjaro or a new language should be on your list. Climbing kilimanjaro is something I would only do if there was a lion running after me. but I’m sure there is other stuff that YOU would like to do (keep it real, astronaut probably a bad idea). And you could do/practice on wednesday!
I’m pretty sure you weren’t actually asking for advice, but just finished this book, and although I did not love it, I thought it was a good idea. “the happiness project” by Gretchen Rubin. might try doing a happiness project myself
angelica´s last blog ..The princess and the frog
OK, the only thing I want to know is; Who the hell is Hope, and what did she ever do to you?
Yup, that’s all I got out of this.
You might like cilantro better if you start calling it coriander like we do
I say that you do your bucket list just as you did this one from here on out. As you accomplish things, add them and immediately cross them off. You’ll never be disappointed….until you read them when you’re 80 and think you aimed low!
I just, up until the moment I was reading your list, had completely forgotten having had sex in an airplane once. In my goddamn SEAT. I was such a freak in high school.
I like the reversible black belt idea. Very sassy, and also confusing to attackers.
I never know if those bucket lists are items that are near impossible or if they’re just things you’d like to get to.
Kovas Palubinskas´s last blog ..Product Review- Shamrock Farms Rockin’ Refuel™ Chocolate Recovery Drink He said – He said
I made a bucket list once, and then I looked at it 8 years later and realized I hadn’t done anything on the list. Then I stopped making bucket lists.
Emily´s last blog ..Fashion Book Project- Kelly
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