From the monthly archives:
On road trips as a child, my sister Bridget and I played a car game where we’d pretend that a certain car that passed us on the highway would become, say, my first car, or the next family car, or my sister’s car. We played agressively, because we had a very shitty car and because [...]
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It’s day one of no Target. Yesterday the dog ate the crotch out of Ivy’s swimsuit which means I think I have to sew it because I can’t buy her a new one. And I don’t have a needle and thread or a sewing kit. According to The Coven (old name was The Compact, but [...]
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One time I tried to join The Compact. Do you know what that is? It’s not a witch type of thing, or any kind of pact for murdering people. It’s not a suicide-ish thing. Or a bargain with my neighbor to please accidentally run over one of my cats who will not stop having his [...]
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So while I’m waiting for Jenny’s haunted camera to show up and RUIN MY LIFE, I thought I’d write about small penises. Because what else are you supposed to do while waiting for the apocalypse?
There is a lot of debate about circumsizing baby boys. I’ve read both sides of the debate and near [...]
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Yesterday I was upstairs with Clyde watching him perform this herky jerky dance he does to Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean. It’s hard to watch and is a lot like watching helplessly as someone you love has a seizure. But instead of rushing to their aid, you’re supposed to clap and sing along like Yay for [...]
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