Spongebob is a Eunuch

You be the judge.

There is much talk at our house about who does and does not have a penis.  This is mainly from Clyde who has recognized that he is outnumbered.  There are only two penises in the house.  Possibly three, because the guinea pig is a mystery.  There is a cat too, who might be a male.  Might be.  According to his vet file (we are his third owner) he has been both spayed and neutered, which was probably the worst day of his/her life.  Clyde likes to list all the people he knows who have one.  This is a somewhat awkward interchange between us because he lists lots of family members and friends.  And I don’t really want to think about my dad’s penis.  Like ever.  But yeah, anyway.  This morning he’s going through his list of penis having people and he says, “And Thomas the Train, he’s a boy, so he has a penis.”  Which is true.  Thomas is a boy.  But he’s also a train and trains don’t have penises.  Plus it would get caught in the train tracks.  And they’d have to do a whole episode where Thomas was like “Well bust my buffers, my penis is stuck!”  And Percy and James would have to free his penis from the tracks.  What a bother it all would be.  My friend, Sarah twittered today that her son has opined that Spongebob Squarepants has a square penis.  Except there’s no way that guy has a penis.  At all.  His voice is too high.  Eunuch for sure.  How about Mickey Mouse?  Winnie the Pooh?  Lightning McQueen?  Oscar the Grouch?  Those guys from the Wiggles?  Penises?  I need to know.  Clyde wants answers.