Pregnant Ladies and People About to go to Jail

My fan base: Pregnant ladies and people about to go to jail, which is basically the same thing. Also, people who like sexy times with anorexics.

I took a look at my Google Analytics today and discovered the “keyword” feature, evidently a tracking of what people type into a search in order to  arrive at my site.  First it’s clear I should be writing about actual bed bugs.  Number one sounds like an S&M site, and I’m afraid to google it.  Number five is anyone’s guess.  Number seven is just sad. Number nine sounds kinky.  But I think number ten is my favorite, as it appears to have been typed by a child concerned about a stuffed animal.  Maybe a lot of people are searching for bed bug related advice, in which case I can’t help them, though there are entire, terrifying forums devoted to them.  I guess that was a bad idea, adding that link.  Though you may note the header of the first post says:  “Oh Please God, No,” which actually sounds a lot like a post I could have written.  So maybe people are coming to the right place after all.