Do these pants make me look fat? No, but they make you look ugly.
What the what? Just when I thought Urban Outfitters had the monopoly on hideous, enter American Apparel. There are a few things amusing about their offerings, I won’t bore you with the spandexy details, but I think this outfit to the left (coming soon! reads their catalog) might rival the confusing khaki shorts Urban Outfitters advertised a few weeks back.
Plaid and gingham are in, this much I know from reading scholarly publications like US weekly. Evidently it doesn’t matter what you wear this pattern with, in fact spandex pants with a zip go perfectly. Just look at the model. Actually don’t. She’d probably prefer this photo never made the light of day. Her expression is a mixture of doubt and false hope. “Do these pants make me look strange?” she seems to be saying. Yes. And also they make you look insane.
Add to this the amusing tidbit that Woody Allen is suing American Apparel for using his face (from an Annie Hall film still) on a billboard advertising their brand. American Apparel didn’t get his permission, didn’t pay to have him endorse the brand, didn’t really check with anybody. They just slapped his face up there. See below:
My image is ruined! Sorta.
Woody Allen, bastion of purity that he is (Google Soon Yi Previn if you’re not familiar with how Allen came to find his current wife – hint: his former wife ADOPTED her) sued American Apparel for using his image, saying among other things, the brand is sleazy. I’d agree with him that American Apparel does have some clothing that is a little street walker-esque, but Allen claiming his pure reputation was tainted by being associated with the brand is a bit much. American Apparel agrees and has countered, saying something to the effect of: “You were sleazy before yo! Why’d you think we put your face up there in the first place?” While Woody Allen needs a head check, American Apparel clearly thought his image was worth something or they wouldn’t have made a billboard out of his mug. Pay up American Apparel. Maybe Woody Allen will give the money to charity, perhaps a support group for catalog models humiliated and tricked into wearing these outfits. I can think of two members already.
